


King Me

by SpacedOut



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Angst, Back at the hotel, Eventual Relationships, Flashbacks, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Investigation, M/M, Past Child Abuse, Past Rape/Non-con, Poor Ryan, Protective Shane Madej, Scared Shane, This will get happier, Whump, hurt ryan
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-04
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-05-18 01:14:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14842778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpacedOut/pseuds/SpacedOut
Summary: Shane finds himself helpless when Ryan starts acting like a kid back at the hotel after an investigation.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Please read the warnings! Also heads up, this is **NOT** age kink. This is related to mental illness. 
> 
>  No Beta. All mistakes are my own. No affiliation with Buzzfeed Unsoved. Inspired by an old Spiderman comic.

_“Ryan, come downstairs and meet your new sitter!”_

_A nine-year-old Ryan comes rumbling down the stairs in his basketball jersey and shorts. At the bottom of the stairs, he rests his chin over the rail banister._

_“Hi.”_

_“This is Jason. He’s Patty’s son. Remember how I told you that he was interested in babysitting while your father and I go out?” ___

____

_Ryan nodded and looked over at the tall teen, staring at him intently._

__

_“I’m excited to hang out with you, Ryan. I brought over Checkers. Your mom said it’s your favorite game.”_

__

****

__

“Well, here it is. It looks like a goddamn hell hole.”

__

“I’m starting to think that every location we investigate looks like a hell hole to you, Ryan,” Shane chuckled as he looked up at the old building looming over them under the night summer sky.

__

“You think?” Ryan gulped as he picked up his body camera and turned it on. 

__

He was starting to get braver at these locations and he wasn’t sure if it was because of the growing Buzzfeed Unsolved camera crew with them or if it was because of his growing friendship with Shane both on and off camera.

__

Could be both, maybe.

__

Either way, this location was harder to shake and he thinks it’s because of the building’s dark history. 

__

“50 people have been murdered here or something, right?” Shane asked as they looked over the packet of research that Ryan spent hours gathering on the location. 

__

“Yeah, this was basically a serial killers lair during the 1960s. Before that it was a violent saloon for the locals…”

__

“and before that a meat packing plant? Damn Ry, you sure know how to pick em,” Shane chuckled at Ryan. 

__

“Hey, if ghosts are real than this is the place to prove it,” Ryan grinned. It’s exciting spending the late hours of the night in a new location. The possibilities of new evidence, spending quality ghoul time with Shane, learning more about history, sharing a bed/floor with Shane…

__

Yeah, he liked his newfound role for Buzzfeed. He likes that his job is to prove something bigger than himself to the world. He likes that his fulltime job is to be close to Shane, he loves it actually. 

__

Ryan grins at Shane and then at the red light of the cameras, “This week on Buzzfeed Unsolved we investigate Rose Stone Estate as part of our ongoing investigation into the question ‘Are Ghosts Real?’”

__

**** 

__

Shane looked over at Ryan and laughed as he watched the shorter man walk into a wall through his night vision camera. 

__

“Ah shit, you got that on camera didn’t you?”

__

“Oh, I did. And we’re keeping it in the episode.”

__

“You’re a piece of shit, you know that?”

__

“Oh Ryan, you know that’s my middle name. Shane Piece of Shit Madej.”

__

Ryan laughed and pretended to punch him.

__

“You see that, ghouls? Ryan here likes to hurt people!”

__

“Shane stop!”

__

“Someone better come save me! Steve the bartender, you saved a couple patrons right? Come save me!”

__

Ryan giggled as he shushed him into silence. 

__

After a long pause, Shane looked over at the darkness where Ryan stood. Shane whispered, “Looks like no one’s coming to save me.”

__

“You’re infuriating.”

__

The investigation went on as usual. 

__

Some noises they could not explain as well as some disembodied voices from the basement room where the serial killer disposed of his victims.  
As they were packing up for the night, Ryan started to GPS the hotel they had reservations for. 

__

“I’m not tired tonight for some reason,” Shane says as they hop in the rented SUV. 

__

“Maybe it’s the Starbucks we had on the way in?” Ryan laughed, “I’m not tired either.”

__

“Come to my room?” Shane tried to be nonchalant, but spending time with Ryan on their ‘business trips’ was his favorite part of it all, except for the times he watched Ryan get excited over a little ‘wind’ blowing in the breeze.

__

“Sure,” Ryan smiled as they turned into the hotel parking lot. The night was quiet and surprisingly cold (they were in Georgia) as they unpacked and headed to their respective rooms with the rest of the crew. 

__

Once Ryan was unpacked in his room, he walked next door and quietly knocked on Shane’s hotel room door so he wouldn’t disturb the other patrons.

__

Shane let him in, “I invited TJ and the others but they were all too tired.”

__

That was not entirely true. Shane had already told TJ to tell the others not to bother them tonight and TJ just chuckled and rolled his eyes knowingly.

__

“Lame. Got anything to drink?” Ryan asked.

__

“I have some beer leftover from last night in my bag, it’s warm,” Shane said as he pulled out some bottles.

__

“Gross. Throw me one.” 

__

Ryan jumped onto the bed where Shane’s bags were scattered.

__

“What the hell did you pack in these things?”

__

“You gotta be prepared for everything. I brought the usual: some camping gear, board games, video games, you name it.”

__

Shane walked over to the suitcase full of his games and started pulling them out one by one. 

__

“Monopoly (Disney Edition of course), some Cards Against Humanity, Checkers, Nintendo3DS, hmm I thought I packed some others in here…”

__

As Shane rummaged through his bag, Ryan felt his heart drop at he looked at the same exact Checkers board game he had growing up at his house. Same brand, same colors, everything. 

__

Fuck. He could feel a lump rising up through his throat quickly and all of a sudden he was back on his parent’s living room couch with his Lakers jersey on the floor. 

__

_“I bet you’ll like the way I play Checkers, Ry. Every time I get kinged you gotta act out a picture with me from my magazine, okay?”_

__

_“King me…”_

__

_“Take off your underwear for me or I’ll tell your parents that you were bad the entire time they were gone, Ryan.”_

__

_“You like playing this with me don’t you?”_

__

_“King me…”_

__

_“Wow, you’re really good for your age.”_

__

_“King me…”_

__

Please no… please not here with Shane. Not again. 

__

Shane watched as tears began to run down Ryan’s face as he ran his fingers slowly over the game of checkers lying on the bed.

__

When did the crying happen?

__

“Ryan… whoa buddy are you okay?” Shane rushed over to Ryan’s side. Ryan sat incredibly still, all that was seen was the rapid rise and fall of his chest. 

__

Clearly it has something to do with the board games he had out. The Checkers game maybe?

__

“Ryan, please talk to me…”

__

Ryan tried so hard to push it back down but it was too late. Shit. 

__

“When’s mommy coming home?”

__

Shane stood up and backed away from the younger man sitting on the bed. 

__

“You’re scaring me Ry…”

__

“I don’t want to play with Jason no more. It hurts. I jus’ want momma to come home.”

__

Shane could feel his face crumbling. He paused before he slowly approached Ryan again.

__

“Mom is coming home soon... can you tell me what’s going on?” Is he doing this right? What is he even doing?

__

“I jus’ want my blanky. Give me blanky.”

__

Shane suddenly remembered an old worn blue blanket that Ryan sometimes took with him on overnight investigations. He never questioned it. Even he himself would bring an old stuffed animal with him on overnights. It was comforting. 

__

“Your blanky’s right next door, Ry. Let’s go to your room and find it, okay?”

__

Ryan nodded, tears still streaming down his face and below his chin. He looked like a crumpled version of himself as he stood up with his back hunched.

__

He looked small. 

__

Shane put an arm around his shoulders, his heart still pumping full of fear and concern and honestly a bit of shock. 

__

At first he thought maybe Ryan was pulling a fast one on him and was going to laugh it off at any moment, but he had never seen anyone’s eyes look that hurt before in his life. 

__

Maybe something came home with them from the Estate. Maybe ghosts are real? Fuck if he knows, he just wants Ryan back.

__

They walked into Ryan’s room and turned on the lights. Sure enough, sticking out of Ryan’s backpack was the old worn blanket. 

__

Ryan crawled onto his bed and grabbed the blanket and curled into a ball above the covers. 

__

Shane walked over to the bed and sat down beside him, watching intently. He was not about to leave him alone in this room until he knew that Ryan was safe. He also wanted to know what the fuck was going on. 

__

“Do you feel better?” Shane asked, unsure of what else to say.

__

Ryan nodded, his eyes still not seemingly his own. 

__

“Who’s Jason?” Shane had to ask. The name had stuck in his mind since this all started happening minutes ago.

__

Ryan hugged his blanket tighter and started mumbling.

__

“He hurts. It doesn’t count if I’m young it doesn’t count it doesn’t mean anything it doesn’t count if he’s young and I’m young it doesn’t count—“

__

“Shhh…shhh… It’s okay, it’s okay,” Shane’s heart sank, “Can I stay here with you til you feel better?” 

__

Ryan nodded. Shane slipped both of their shoes off before he sat sideways on the bed beside Ryan, being sure not to touch or startle him. 

__

He watched him until the younger man fell asleep. 

__

****

__

Shane didn’t sleep the rest of that night. He kept watch as Ryan slept with his blanket covering his shoulders. Shane put a bath towel over his lower half where the blanket couldn’t reach. 

__

Eventually, Ryan opened his eyes. He felt hung over. 

__

Ryan turned over to find Shane resting his head against the headboard, his head looking down into his phone. 

__

“How drunk did we get last night?” Ryan asked, squinting up at Shane. Also, why was Shane in bed with him?

__

“Ryan… do you remember what happened last night?” Shane looked at him, concern in his eyes. 

__

“Not really… was I crying? My eyes feel kinda sore,” Ryan sat up and saw the towel over his legs. It was then when he noticed his blanky draped over his shoulders.

__

Shit. 

__

“I don’t want to scare you, Ry, but I think something happened to you last night,” Shane didn’t know how to approach this. He had spent the night googling everything he could find regarding the strange symptoms of his friend and all that came up was—

__

“Age regression,” Ryan pulled his blanket off of him and sat up. He felt tears starting to build up again. 

__

“Yeah, I’ve been researching it while you were sleeping. Honestly, I thought you were possessed at first,” Shane tried to chuckle but it didn’t feel right. 

__

“I should have warned you… I’m sorry,” Ryan started.

__

“Please, don’t apologize. I’m just glad you’re back. I was worried sick all night, I thought you were gone and I don’t know I just got real scared… for you.”

__

Shane paused and added, “It was a board game in my room, I think. It really bothered you.”

__

Ryan flinched, “Was it Che… Chec… Che.. fuck,” Ryan burst into tears and brought his hands to his face, embarrassed to be so distressed over a stupid board game that shouldn’t bother him like it did. 

__

Shane reached out to him, his hand lightly brushing Ryan’s wrist, “Hey, you’re safe here with me now, Ry.”

__

“It’s not just that, I’m kinda humiliated right now. You probably think I’m fucking crazy and I honestly wouldn’t blame you if you hopped on a plane back to LA and quit the show. I get it, I’m a fucking nut.”

__

“Hell no, I’d never do that. Just let me help you in any way that I can. You’re amazing, Ryan, this doesn’t change anything at all,” Shane said. He meant it, too. 

__

“I can’t even handle looking at a board game, Shane. I’m messed up.”

__

“Can you help me understand? So I can know how to help you next time and avoid things in the future?” 

__

“His…name is Jason. He… he uh… was my sitter growing up…”

__

Shane knew where this was going. He felt like he was going to be sick. 

__

“Ry…”

__

TJ knocked at the door, “Are you lovebirds…I mean… are you guys up yet?” They heard snickering on the other side of the door.

__

“Yeah, give us a little bit. We’ll meet you down at breakfast!”

__

“Did TJ just say ‘lovebirds’?” Ryan asked, laughing for the first time in what Shane felt like was forever ago. 

__

“Yeah, don’t think too much about it,” Shane laughed. He didn’t want to admit to Ryan that he was actually planning on sharing his real feelings for him before everything happened last night. He’ll tell TJ later that he chickened out later. 

__

Ryan collected himself and stood up and stretched. Shane did the same. 

__

“Go ahead and take your time. I’ll head down there and tell them we got drunk last night or something.”

__

Ryan nodded and headed to the bathroom. He stopped and turned toward Shane before making it to the door.

__

“Thanks... for last night. I don’t know what I did or said but I appreciate you watching out for me,” Ryan looked up at Shane and made eye contact with him for the first time all morning. 

__

“Of course, Ry. I want to talk about this more later, if that’s okay. I want to learn how to help you if this every happens again.”

__

“Yeah, that’s… amazing actually... that you care so much about this. It happens often enough where I probably should have warned you and the team to begin with. I’ll do my best to answer more your questions later... when we’re alone again if that’s okay?”

__

“Okay,” Shane smiled. The concern was still there, but the fact that he wanted to share more about his experiences with Shane made him feel much less helpless than he felt last night with a small Ryan curled up beneath him. 

__

Shane closed the door and headed downstairs.

__


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yikes, remember when I said I would update this a month ago? Sorry guys, I'll try to keep updating more consistently. I want to make this story a long one so strap in folks. 
> 
> Here's a short chapter for the weekend.

“So?”

“So what?” 

“Did you tell him?” Tj leaned over the breakfast table, trying to keep everyone else across from them out of the conversation.

Shane shook his head, “Nah. We got too drunk.”

TJ’s eyes widened at that, “Wait, did you guys have drunk sex?!”

“Fuck no. No. Not anything like that. He ended up getting sick and I didn’t want to tell him while he was dry heaving into the toilet,” Shane replied a bit more defensively than he would’ve liked. The thought of taking advantage of Ryan in the state he was in last night made him sick to his stomach… it’s not TJ’s fault though, he didn’t know what really happened. 

TJ shrugged at him and nudged Steven as the other cameraman took a sip of his orange juice. Steven spilled some OJ from his glass and onto the tablecloth, “Son of a bitch Teej.” 

TJ laughed and ignored Steven’s annoyed glance, “Apparently Ryan couldn’t handle his liquor last night.”

“And Steven can’t handle his OJ,” Shane added, trying to deflect the conversation away from Ryan. He felt weird lying to everyone, especially after making such an elaborate story about Ryan puking. He needed to stop giving so many fake details.

Steven flipped off Shane and TJ and resumed drinking from his glass. Ryan appeared through the door behind them. He looked like shit.

“Ry—“

“Next time invite us to the party so I can make a MUSICALLY of you puking your guts out,” TJ laughed as Ryan slipped into a chair across from Shane.

Ryan rolled his eyes and laughed, “Fuck off. Shane said you guys fell asleep as soon as we got back.” Good, he went along with Shane's story.

Shane kicked TJ’s leg under the table in warning. Christ, that man was in rare form this morning. 

“Oh, right…. We did I guess,” TJ looked over at Shane and grinned. 

“Hotel restaurants are weird. Aren’t they weird, Steven? I feel like they’re weird,” Shane was desperate to just drop all of this. Any indication to Ryan of what he was trying to do last night would ruin everything and make Ryan super uncomfortable. He needed to work on his deflecting… 

“You’re weird,” Steven shrugged and then looked over at the rest of the BFU crew, “When do leave for the airport?” 

“We’ll pack up and go after breakfast,” someone at the other end of the table replied. 

Shane smiled at Ryan and Ryan gave him a small smile back. He looked rough, but a lot better than when they first woke up beside each other this morning.

It was weird to think that last night was going to be the night where Shane finally grew a pair and told Ryan how he has really been feeling. 

He pictured them sitting on the two beds and talking and laughing and maybe he’d slip in a few comments about how happy he is to be on the road with Ryan and maybe he’d tell him how much he means to him and…. probably end the night without saying anything he wanted to say because he’s terrified of ruining their friendship and the show that Ryan has practically spent years building up. He’d take a bullet before sabotaging everything all because he is falling for his colleague and best friend. 

None of that matters now anyways, Shane thought as the entire crew finished eating and started heading back to their respective rooms to finish packing. Ryan is hurting and has been hurting and honestly it feels like Shane has a knife in his chest all the time now that he knows Ryan had experienced something that hurt him in so many ways. 

As Shane was packing, he noticed the Checkers game was sitting out on the bed still. He picked it up and looked at it. It was an old version of the game that he bought from a garage sale years ago. He had played it a few times with friends but it hadn’t had any real significant meaning to him, especially not after seeing Ryan’s reaction to it. He honestly hated it now.

Suddenly, Ryan knocked on the door, "You ready?"

"Coming!" 

Shane set the board game on the top of the hotel closet shelf for someone else to find before zipping up his suitcase and heading out the door to meet with the BFU crew.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, next chapter we will know everything that happened. I decided to add a twist to this.

"Viva La New Orleans!" Andrew yelled as everyone walked off the plane and headed down the narrow hallway that led to the Louisiana airport.

"I don't think that's a thing," Shane whispered to Ryan as they followed behind everyone else.

"No, it's definitely not a thing," Ryan snorted back at Shane. He was pulling his small black suitcase behind them as they headed toward their destination. Shane was amazed at how Ryan could pack such a large amount of clothes in that tiny rolling box. 

It seemed like everything Ryan did amazed him. 

Once they made it to the hotel, they started to unpack their things. This time, Shane and Ryan shared a room with two full beds. Usually they agreed to have their privacy while on the road and sleep in separate rooms, but Shane couldn't help but feel relieved when Ryan offered to share a room for the night. 

He assumed it was so that they could fully debrief on what happened the night before and Shane couldn't help but feel the instinct to protect him and stay close to him, even if he knew the smaller of the two could hold his own any day. 

Shane set his suitcase and duffle bag on the bed closest to the window, he knew from previous observations that Ryan preferred to be closer to the door. 

"I swear we see more clubs than we do haunted locations when we do trips like this," Ryan threw his stuff onto the bed.

"What if…. the club is haunted?" Shane gave him a spooked look, eyes wide and mouth open. Ryan laughed.

"Ah yes, those uncomfortable butt squeezes from strangers are actually from the hands of ghosts."

"Wait, you've had your ass squeezed at clubs?" That made Shane unreasonably annoyed for some reason. 

Ryan just shrugged, "It happens. Sometimes it's drunk women. Sometimes weird old men."

"Well, I'll be your butt police tonight." 

Why the fuck did he just say that? Shane wanted to face palm.

Ryan was wheezing with laughter, "Ye-yes Shane. You can be my butt police tonight."

Ryan continued to double over with laughter and Shane grinned. At least his lame jokes have kept Ryan's mood lifted after the events this morning. 

"What do I even wear to a club? I'm pretty sure all I have are my famous flannels."

"Oh god, you're going to die of heat stroke tonight."

"I think my death will come when they inevitably play the Cupid Shuffle…"

"To the right to the right to the -" 

"Please no.."

Ryan's phone suddenly rang and he looked up at Shane with a grin and winked before he answered it. It was TJ.

He heard a muffled voice talking into Ryan's ear.

"Yeah, we're on our way down. Yeah, see ya," Ryan hung up and looked over at Shane, "You're lucky they're all waiting for us otherwise I would've started dancing."

"Praise be." Shane grabbed the nearest flannel and buttoned it over his t-shirt. 

Ryan sighed while grabbing his wallet and looking at the door. His mood rapidly changed from relaxed to what Shane interpreted as dread. 

They hadn't really had the time to talk about things so Shane had kept their conversations shallow all day and Ryan seemed to go along with. Now he was kind of regretting not talking to Ryan about things sooner. 

"Are you going to be okay tonight, Ry?" 

Ryan looked a bit surprised that Shane had read that something was up with. 

"Yeah, I think so. I love going out, don't get me wrong. Everything just feels… so fast. I normally try to relax a bit when um, things flare up again."

Shane wanted to reach out and touch the smaller man's arm but decided against it. He wasn't sure if Ryan wanted to be touched after the night before. All Shane kept seeing in the back of his mind was Ryan's horrified face when the Checkers game was pulled out. He still doesn't fully understand everything. He also doesn't know if he can bare to know all of what that piece of shit did to him without wanting to hunt him down and... 

"Don't go out tonight, Ryan. Stay here. I'll stay back too and we can just relax and watch movies."

Ryan's smile was huge, "That sounds absolutely amazing, but I feel like the team is already onto me about acting weird. I'm not opposed to the idea of leaving early tonight though."

Shane pretended not to sound disappointed about not saying 'fuck it' to going out and staying in with his best friend but he did like the idea of leaving early. 

"Deal. We can leave right when the Cupid Shuffle comes on."

Ryan's laugh from earlier started to erupt again as they made their way to the door and out onto the streets of New Orleans.

***

Pink and blue strobe lights filled the hot, tightly packed space of the dance floor. The place was called Voodoo. 

How fitting, Ryan thought about the name as he sipped his drink. He and the rest of the bfu crew felt out of place in their somewhat casual drinking attire. Apparently it was some sort of themed night since everyone was walking around in black dresses, suits, and even some with top hats. 

He and Mark were making bets on what the theme of the night was. Ryan was guessing emo night based off of the girl he saw across the dance floor with black lipstick. Mark was betting on steampunk night. 

"I believe it's steampunk night, but my opinion is solely based off the guy over there in the round goggles," Shane weighed in as he finished his beer.

"Until then…" Ryan started.

"No."

"The case remains…"

"God, no."

"Unsolved."

Mark and Ryan laughed and Shane grumbled about getting another beer. 

Ryan was glad he chose to come out tonight, even though Shane's proposal earlier sounded amazing. Shane had always been selfless and understanding and he didn't want to ruin the one night they had off in New Orleans before starting work on the new episode in the morning. Shane loved the night life, he didn't want to take that away from him. 

Ryan appreciated the normality Shane had given him the morning after what he considered was one the most humiliating nights of his life (that he honestly couldn't remember, which was usually the case when the age regression hit him). He couldn't help but notice the way Shane stayed closer to him all day, as if one wrong move would make Ryan disappear. 

Ryan knew the man deserved a much better explanation than what he had stuttered out earlier that morning. Part of him wanted to spill out everything to Shane, to let himself break down and be held in his friend's arms. The other part of him wanted to shield his problems from Shane and wanted to curl himself into a ball because deep down he felt dirty and used. Damaged goods. A freak. 

Shane was the first person that Ryan had taken interest in since _his_ attacks finally stopped. He saw Shane as someone he could learn to love someday… something he still didn't think he truly knew how to do. 

All he did know is that the taller man made his heart flutter when he was around, made his stomach churn when Shane was at home sick from work and he had to be at his desk alone for the day, made his body sore from laughter that finally felt genuine for the first time in years, made his eyes wander to the smooth curves behind his damp towel when he changed in the hotel room before they settled into their beds... maybe that's what love felt like?

Ryan was pulled from his thoughts with a gentle hand on his arm and breath close to his ear. 

"I think TJ has successfully talked someone into sleeping with him," Shane said as he gestured a few chairs over. 

Ryan saw a girl in all black with her arm around their assistant director and laughed, "Maybe he'll figure out what the theme is tonight and report back to us in the morning."

"You realize we could just ask the bartender behind us, right?"

"Too much work."

Shane chuckled, "I admire your laziness,"

"And I admire your guys' ability to remain attached at the hip on these bar stools all night. Come on, let's go dance!" Lauren, their video researcher said after overhearing their conversation.

Ryan and Shane gave each other a look before shrugging and heading to the dance floor with the rest of their group. 

Ryan was not much of a dancer, but he could appreciate the professionals that actually spent time choreographing and performing amazing dances that he spent way too much time watching on Youtube. 

Ryan just kind of moved to the music as best as he could. Shane was teaching Mark what appeared to be some incredibly lame dance moves (was that the lawn mower move Ryan saw him doing?) and everyone was laughing around the taller man. Ryan loved how Shane can easily become the life of the party. 

Suddenly, Ryan felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. 

He retrieved his phone as the song was ending and he thumbed in his password to see the notification. 

**Facebook Message From: Jason**

Ryan froze.

He felt his world fall apart around him. Fuck. He hadn't seen that name in his notifications for months, maybe even a year… fuck why now?

Shane looked over and saw Ryan's pale face and immediately made his way across the dance floor. 

Ryan read the message a couple times, his heart sinking at words across his small screen. 

**How's New Orleans treating you, baby? I saw your tweet. Glad to see your show is doing well. I can't stop watching you ;)**

"Ryan!"

He hadn't even realized that he had smashed his phone onto the ground until Shane had picked it up and put it in his pocket before throwing his arm around Ryan and escorting both of them out of the club. Everything felt fast again. 

Too fast.

Ryan might pass out. He actually might pass out in Shane's arm. Fuck.

He stumbled down the sidewalk with Shane picking up his extra weight with his shoulder. Shane was panting and mumbling something, or maybe he wasn't mumbling. Maybe it was all in Ryan's head. 

"Ry stay with me, please stay with me. Stay with me."

"Need... to go... room..."

"We're almost there Ry, you're doing so good."

"Jason.."

Shane stiffened at the name he had quickly grown to hate in the course of 24 hours. 

"You're safe with me now, Ryan."

They made it up the steps to the hotel entrance, ignoring strange looks as they made it down the hall to their room. Shane was shaking as he pulled the room key from his wallet and into the door slot. 

The light turned green and he kicked open the door softly and led them both in.

Safe, for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments/Kudos feed my ego. Prompts are always open on my tumblr. I'm glad you guys are enjoying so far :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol remember when I said I was going to update this? Big Yikes. Sorry guys. On the plus side, I got all A's this semester? Yay graduate school.

Shane had never seen Ryan so worked up before in his life, which is definitely saying something since Unsolved thrived on Ryan getting worked up at different spooky locations or trying to solve a decades old crime. 

Ryan was practically sobbing into Shane’s shoulder as they made their way up to their room. Shane tightened his arm around the shorter man, his stomach churning with worry. 

What the hell is happening to his best friend?

Ryan sat on the bed. Shane pulled one of the uncomfortable upholstered hotel chairs from across the room and sat in front of the shorter man, their knees just barely grazing each other. 

“I probably seem crazy to you now,” Ryan finally said after a moment of silence washed between the two. 

“Not at all,” Shane replied. He probably could have made a joke there, something like ‘more than usual?’. It probably would have made things more normal, more them. It still just didn’t feel right. 

“What happened at the club… is that related to what happened last night?” Shane asked. God, last night felt like years ago already. 

Ryan gave a small nod, his eyes meeting Shane’s for the first time since the club.

“Are you ready to talk about it?”

Ryan turned away and rummaged through his bag. Shane had thought he hadn’t heard him until Ryan turned back with his baby blue blanket in his hand. He gave it a squeeze and wrapped it around his arm before settling it onto his lap. 

Shane’s heart sank. 

“I was nine years old. My parents didn’t trust me enough to stay home by myself and the neighbor that used to babysit me during the summer moved away. They needed someone to watch me while they were working so my mom had asked her friend’s son, Jason, to watch me. He was 17.”

Shane noticed the hand peeking out from Ryan’s blanket started to shake. He wanted desperately to reach out and settle it with his own hand. 

“At first he seemed fine. We would watch baseball on the TV or he’d bring over his board games. Checkers was his favorite…” 

“Everything was fine until he started bringing over the magazines. He...uh… it was porn basically, and he would tell me that if I lost…I would have to act out a scene with him.”

Shane stared at Ryan, he felt helpless. He shook his head and nearly whispered, “That’s… Christ, Ryan I--” 

“Sometimes I liked it,” tears fell down Ryan’s cheek, “That’s the worst part about it… I didn’t mind when it was just kissing.

It was when he started touching me and, uh, bringing condoms over. That’s when it wasn’t fun anymore.”

“Ugh…”

Ryan shut his eyes to prevent more tears from falling, “Shit, this is the first time I’ve said this to anyone other than my therapist.”

“Thank you for feeling comfortable enough to tell me” Shane said, he wanted to reach out to touch his knee but decided against it, “We don’t have to talk about it anymore if you don’t want to, Ry.”

Ryan shook his head, “No, it—it feels good letting it out. I need to.”

Shane gave him a small smile and nodded and waited for him to continue. 

“He was very good about not making a mess. He knew what he was doing was wrong because he’d make sure to clean up everything after he was done, and he threatened me not to tell anyone. Usually it was ‘I’ll kill Shadow’ my dog or ‘I’ll go after your brother next’… thank God they kept Jake at daycare while they worked. Fuck.

My parents didn’t catch on until they started finding bruises on my legs. One day Jason was too rough with me and he dislocated my jaw… they had to come home and take me to the hospital and I told them I ‘fell’. That’s when they started catching on that something was wrong.”

“Fuck,” Shane said, his chest tightening at the thought of Ryan getting abused like that and then having to lie to his parents about it, “Please tell me they found out.”

“Not really… they just didn’t think Jason was doing a good job of watching me,” Ryan laughed darkly, “He just stopped coming over after that. School started up again and the next summer I begged my parents to let me stay home alone.

As I got older I started to do the regression thing,” Ryan gestured to his blanket, “My therapist says it’s a coping mechanism for significant trauma from childhood. Sometimes I just need to hold something familiar like my blanket… and then sometimes I fully dissociate and according to whoever witnesses it, which luckily hasn’t been many people, I just act younger I guess.”

“Do you ever remember?”

“While I regress? Not usually. I still don’t remember what I did or said to you last night,” Ryan paused, shuddering from embarrassment, “I’m sorry, this is a lot to dump on you and I feel like a dumbass don’t…”

“Ryan,” Shane said reaching for the younger man's shoulders with both of his hands, “Thank you for telling me… and never be sorry for what that _thing_ did to you. Don’t be sorry for being anything but yourself around me, blanket or not. I don’t care, you’re you Ryan and that’s all that matters to me.”

He wanted to say more, to explain more about how much he cared about him, how much he still adored him more than anything. 

Later, Shane thought to himself. Right now it would be questionable if Ryan even wanted to hear that kind of proclamation of admiration given what that monster did to his innocence. 

“Thanks Shane,” Ryan smiled, “I’ve ended up in some bad situations before, It’s nice to have someone I can trust when things flare up.”

“What do you mean?” Shane asked.

“Well, one time I had a date misinterpret one of my episodes as an age kink thing… he thought I was doing it as an act. That uh… didn’t go over well.”

“Christ,” Shane didn’t think he could feel anymore sick tonight, “Ryan, I would never.”

“I know,” Ryan gave him a small smile, “That was years ago…. I haven’t exactly had a lot of luck dating so I kind of gave up after college.”

“I don’t blame you,” Shane said. He can’t even imagine the kind of damage it does to someone’s love life. 

“I’m single, by the way,” Ryan added last second before silently kicking himself. 

Shane stared at him before bursting into laughter. Did he just?

“Uh, me too, by the way,” Shane replied and paused, before adding, “But that doesn’t matter because we’re talking about awful things and I—”

Ryan grinned at him, “I know, I just wanted you to know.”

“I think I already knew this, unless you had some secret girlfriend that you never told me about. Which would be really rude, Ryan!”

“Or boyfriend… but yeah. I would’ve told you. I also knew you were single because you complain about it TJ all the time.”

Shane laughed. How the hell did we get here? It doesn’t matter, he’s enjoying the sudden openness between them. 

Suddenly, Shane’s phone lit up from a text. Ryan immediately tensed. 

Shane picked up his phone and sighed quietly, “Speaking of Tj. He's wondering why we ran out of the bar like that.”

“Tell him we’re back at the hotel and okay,” Ryan said. He stood up from the bed and began to slowly pace from the beds to the door and back again. 

“Sent it.”

“Cool.”

“What happened on the dance floor, Ry?”

“I got a message from him.”

Shane felt like he was ready to start seeing red. That sick pedophile is still contacting him even now? 

“How often does he contact you?”

“He had no idea where I was until Unsolved started gaining traction. He started making fake fan accounts to contact me.”

Shane’s heart sank for what felt like the hundredth time in 48 hours.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Shane asked. He understood Ryan’s desire to not talk about it, but fuck, he could have showed up to the office and hurt him or take him away or

“Because I didn’t want you involved with my crazy shit when we barely knew each other. I didn’t want you to not want to be my friend. I thought I could handle it,” Ryan sat back on the bed with his blanket. 

Shane rushed over and sat down next him on the bed, nearly startling the young man before pulling him into the tightest hug Shane could manage. 

Ryan instantly reciprocated and dug his nose in Shane’s neck and squeezed back even tighter. 

Shane immediately regretted not comforting him like this sooner. Ryan felt alive under his skin, and for the first time this evening he felt like he was actually doing something for the younger man other than apologizing over and over again.

“Thank you,” Shane heard Ryan muffle into his now disheveled flannel. Shane pressed the smallest kiss on top of the his head and Ryan squeezed tighter.

Shane eventually pulled them apart gently before holding Ryan’s shoulders with his hands, “I’m not going anywhere, Ry. This doesn’t change anything. I want to help.”

Ryan nodded and went to place his hand on Shane’s cheek before stopping and pulling it away to rest on his own knee instead. It still felt too scary.

“What do we do?” Ryan asked. 

“What did he say to you?”

“He knows that we’re in New Orleans because of our social media… Fuck, Shane, what if he’s here?”

Shane grabbed his phone from his pocket and thumbed through his social media.

“What are you doing?”

“Deleting any posts that share of our location.”

When Shane was done he handed it to Ryan, “You can log into your stuff next. I’ll tell the team to delete their stuff too.”

Ryan held Shane’s phone, confused. “Where’s my phone?”

He must not remember, Shane thought sadly. “You dropped it at the bar and it won’t turn on anymore.”

“Shit.”

“We can pick up a new one tomorrow, maybe Buzzfeed can pay for it?” Shane wiggled his eyebrows trying to lighten the mood. He’ll make Buzzfeed pay for it, damnit. 

“I hope so. Fuck, this is a mess.”

“Hey, I’m not going to let anyone or anything near you. I promise,” Shane said, and he meant it. He meant it more than anything in the world.

Ryan smiled and Shane smiled back. It was short lived, however, because suddenly there was a knock at the door.

*****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I was in a very dramatic mood writing this and you can probably tell. I honestly don't know who's at the door yet. 
> 
> I'm on holiday break so I will try to actually finish this and then maybe start something new?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Note: Regression isn't always episodic. Regressive behaviors can sometimes come and go even in the middle of a conversation. You may notice more of that in this chapter.

“Room service!” The maid’s voice was muffled by the sound of another door shutting from somewhere down the hall. 

She knocked on the door again. Shane looked over at Ryan. 

“Thank fuck,” Ryan said under his breath. His breathing was still hitched when she knocked a third time. 

It took Shane a couple seconds to shake off the fear. Ryan’s old disgusting babysitter has been apparently following him and now there’s a knock at their door? 

He would never admit to being afraid of the paranormal, but real people? Out to hurt Ryan? Fucking terrifying. 

Shane looked through the peephole before opening the door and talking to the short elderly woman. 

“You ordered room service,” she said dryly. She was holding a small tray of chocolate chip cookies. 

“It wasn’t us,” Shane said looking down at the tray. He probably looked sketchy with just his neck and head craning out of the doorway but he didn’t really care at the moment. 

The maid picked up a note that was perched on the corner of the tray. 

“Are you Ryan Baga?” 

“Bergara? Yes, well no. He’s in here with me.” 

“Well it looks like someone ordered this for him.” 

Shane felt his chest tighten at the realization of what’s going on. The fucker found their room number. He can’t even tell the difference between fear and anger anymore. 

“Can I get the phone number of the person who sent this?” Shane demanded. This was all happening too fast. 

“You can’t, unfortunately, we keep that information confidential.” 

“Why? Why does that matter?” 

“It’s part of our policy to keep order and room information confidential.” 

“WELL APPARENTLY YOU GUYS DIDN’T KEEP OUR FUCKING INFORMATION CONFIDENTIAL!” At this point Shane was shouting. It was well past midnight and he eagerly waited for heads to peak out of the neighboring hotel room doors at any moment so he could yell some more. He was ready to yell from the rooftop at this point. 

Ryan ran to the doorway to meet Shane and touched his shoulder gently from behind him, “Hey, hey, whoa... Shane what’s going on?” He could feel the taller man trembling from just the small touch. 

Shane opened the door wider so Ryan could see the tray of food. As soon as Ryan saw the cookies on the tray, he understood. 

_He found him._

Ryan took the tray from the now exasperated woman and mumbled a “sorry, thank you” before pulling Shane into the room and locking the door. 

“Absolutely amazing! They can tell the entire world what room we are staying in at this piece of shit hotel but God forbid I ask them who--” 

“Shane...” 

Shane broke out of his rage about the hotel at the sound of Ryan’s small, scared voice. 

“What Ry?” 

Ryan handed the note from the tray to Shane. 

**To: Ryan Bergara**

**Your favorite snack! Or, at least it used to be back when we were playmates ;)**

Shane instinctually flipped the note over. 

**You can’t hide anymore.**

“Ryan, I think it’s time to call the police.” 

“No! Then everyone is going to know....” 

Shane looked down at him, “Ry, this is getting serious...” 

“I know... I shouldn’t have told you about it. Now, you’re involved and he could hurt you too and I can feel myself dissociating every fucking second and and.. Fuck!” 

Ryan sat down on the floor and pulled his knees to his chest while resting against the front of the bed. He felt tears falling again. 

Shane sat down criss-cross in front of him, phone in hand. 

“I promise you no one is going near you without going through me first,” Shane reached out to Ryan’s hand and paused, “But... the police need to know that he is out here tormenting you.” 

“Why?” 

Shane was sensing that adult Ryan wasn’t there anymore. 

“He could be tormenting other people too, Ry. We don’t want him to hurt others, right?” 

Ryan’s eyes got wide as he considered Shane’s point. Shane squeezed his hand. 

“Oh-okay. We don’t want a bad guy on the streets...” 

“That’s right, that’s good. Now can you get your get your shoes on for me while I call the police?” Shane asked. He rested his thumb on the ‘one’ button until Ryan nodded and stood up to find his shoes. 

Shane smiled, which felt like a weird reaction since he was in the middle of phoning the police. He looked over at the other man fumbling with his sneakers and couldn’t help but feel fond of Ryan in the midst of this terrifying situation. There was a comfort knowing that Ryan was safe in the room with him, safe and sound and not back at the club with the rest of the crew where who knows that would’ve happened since it appears that this sick man has been following them. 

Oh, God. The crew. Shane sighed. They are going to have to tell everyone what’s going on, or at least the part where Ryan is being stalked. He doesn’t need to share the rest. 

Shane knew that they were probably going to have to put an end to filming, at least for the next couple weeks. It’s going to devastate Ryan, he’s sure of it. 

“Hello, yeah my name is Shane Madej and I’m calling because someone is currently stalking my friend--” Shane hasn’t had to call the police since the time his cousin got stuck in a tree when they were 10. He stumbled through the situation the best that he could, Ryan listening while he waited on the bed. 

The officer on the other end of the line seemed incredibly unhelpful. When Shane tried to explain that Jason likely found them because of their Youtube show and other social media, the officer did not sound very concerned. 

“So you guys are internet stars or something?” 

“Uh, I guess. We’re not like famous or anything, but it would be easy for someone to find us if they were interested in stalking us, which is why I’m calling you... because someone is stalking us.” Shane could feel frustration bubbling up again, the same frustration from earlier with the maid. He felt like he was in one of those nightmares where your legs can’t move no matter how fast you run. 

“Well, the best we can do for now is have you guys come in and fill out a police report. You aren’t in any real danger right now, are you?” The lady sounded tired. Why did no one fucking care? 

“We’re a little concerned because he figured out where our hotel room is and we know that because he just sent us room service with a note saying that we can’t hide from him anymore.” 

“You never know, it could be a prank from some of your internet fans or something.” 

Shane took a deep breath. Ryan looked over at him, he was ready to pull the phone from Shane's hand if he was going to start yelling at the dispatcher. 

He saw Ryan’s concern and tried to calm down, “You know what? You’re right. Have a nice night officer.” 

Shane hung up and haphazardly tossed his phone onto the bed beside Ryan. 

He was about to start a tirade again, this time about the New Orleans PD, but Ryan spoke first. 

“I’m sorry for all of this...” 

“Oh, no no Ryan don’t apologize this is--” 

“It’s my fault. If I would have addressed all of this sooner, then you wouldn't be in this mess with me,” Ryan paused, “I’m just so afraid of him. Maybe it’s the kid in me that keeps wanting to run away. I don’t really even know what he looks like anymore. Hell, I’m a grown adult now, I can probably kick his ass if it came down to it.” 

Ryan grinned at that last bit and it made Shane laugh. 

“Yeah, you probably could kick his ass. I keep saying that I’m going to protect you but honestly, you look tougher than me with those meaty arms of yours,” Shane chuckled and joined him on the bed. 

Ryan looked down at his hands with a small smile. “I just don’t know why I keep wanting to run.” 

“Ryan, what he did to you was cruel and evil. Of course you want to run away from the person that did that. It doesn’t matter how old you are, now. I’m just glad that you’re sitting here with me realizing that you are stronger and braver than you think. It’s awesome.” 

Ryan looked up at Shane and smiled, “Thanks, you just...” 

“What?” Shane asked.

“You just really care about me. I can tell. It feels good. Like really good,” Ryan replied, this time he looked down, feeling too open and exposed to make eye contact. 

“I do care.” Shane brought his arm up and around Ryan’s back and squeezed. It was a wholesome moment for both of them. Shane wanted to stay in that moment forever. 

“We called the police,” Ryan half laughed and exhaled. 

“Yes, that did happen.”

“Why did we do that?” 

“Um,” Shane used his arm to shift Ryan so he can face him, “Because we just got a cryptic note from your creepy stalker babysitter. Remember that?” Shane was half being sarcastic and half serious. Trauma does weird things to people, he could be forgetting the evening. Hell, Shane wished he could forget too. 

“No, I know that,” Ryan chuckled, “Why don't we just grab everyone from the bar and go kick his ass?” 

“Ryan? Are you okay?” 

Ryan rolled his eyes, “Yes, I just feel a lot braver now. Maybe it’s because I just watched you nearly freak out on two people and I've witnessed you pulling your hair out all night in this hotel room trying to protect me. I feel safer. With you.” 

Shane smiled, “While I am ecstatic that I am helping you feel less terrified, I am definitely not a huge fan of confronting this guy. Ry, you haven’t seen him in years. I don’t want this bringing up anymore issues for you, not to mention this guy could be dangerous, well more dangerous than before... especially since he left you a kind of threatening note and cookies.” 

“You’re right. I just want this to go away, so bad.” Ryan sighed and twiddled his fingers in his lap. 

“How about this? Let’s tell everyone what’s going on and tomorrow we can figure out what to do.” 

“And what about tonight?” 

“Well, the only way into the room is through that door and I’m an incredibly light sleeper. I don’t think anyone is getting in here tonight without me knowing about it,” Shane decided. He knew sleep wasn’t going to come easy at all, but there really wasn’t much of a plan other than Ryan’s-- which was to basically jump him in the ally with a group of Buzzfeed employees. While that sounded tempting and a bit hilarious to be honest-- it was just not going to happen, especially because Ryan has somehow jumped from terrified to brave in the span of an hour and Shane is still suspicious about Ryan’s real emotional state right now. 

“Okay, I like this,” Ryan said. He threw himself back and spread himself out on the bed. Ryan discarded the shoes he had put on in an attempt to leave the hotel earlier. 

Shane stood up slowly and went to search for pajamas to slip on. 

“Hey Shane,” Ryan asked quietly. 

Shane almost didn’t hear him. 

“Yes, Ry?” 

“When we talk to TJ and all the rest of them, can we leave out the part that Jason was my babysitter?” he asked. 

Shane turned and looked over at Ryan. He looked so small, the bed looked like it could swallow him whole. 

“Of course. I promise I won’t say anything that you don’t want me to,” he paused for a beat, “But when we get back to LA I really want you to consider reporting him.” 

Ryan nodded slowly before turning over. Shane knew that battle with Ryan was not even close to being won. He slipped into the bed beside Ryan without any objection from his best friend. It wasn’t the first time they shared a bed and it sure as hell won’t be the last, Shane thought to himself. The bedside lamp stayed on, along with the bathroom light across the room. Shane closed his eyes. 

Sleep would come eventually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you can probably tell, I'm writing this as I go lol. I hope this isn't coming off too rushed, I just got back into Stranger Things again and now I'm tempted to write that but I also like to finish fics before starting new ones, ya feel me?
> 
> Comments/Kudos feed my ego. Prompts always welcome on my tumblr. 
> 
> I shall update this again soon.

**Author's Note:**

> Prompts always open on my blog (trashmouthrichietozier.tumblr.com)


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